before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
