Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize