Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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