What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize