he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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