if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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