So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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