I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize