I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
