thus making me awesome and them whores
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
