Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
