$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
