Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
