Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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