dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
