Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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