I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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