things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
