I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
