I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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