Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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