dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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