dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
