I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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