The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
