Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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