# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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