It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
