I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
