I'm going to jail i love you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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