In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
