i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
