Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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