And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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