so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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