I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
