I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize