I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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