i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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