Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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