Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
