I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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