I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
