god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
