I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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