Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
