Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just google imaged poop.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize