D3 body, D1 cock
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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