Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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