don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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