yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize