Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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