I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
