She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
