Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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