I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
