The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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