i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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