we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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