stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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